SEX DOES NOT EQUAL LOVE

My friend is mad at me. She hasn’t talked to me in 24 hours and I don’t really care. Finally, I don’ have to listen to how dangerous her life is and the fact that maybe one day you won’t return home from one of your dates.

The fact is she has a wonderful life and she doesn’t respect it enough to live it properly. I think that some people should be banned from having the responsibility of protecting their lives and someone else should make decisions for them. Like a power of attorney or a trustee, for those who suck at life.

My friend has an online dating profile and she has no idea how to date responsibly. She invites strange men over to her house on the first date. She is under the impression that she is some mind reader and that she can distinguish between the truth and lie. She believes everything that men tell her and she continues to put herself and her daughter at risk.

I can’t even count how many times; she has invited a strange man over to her house to meet her for the first time. I can’t even count how many of them she has slept with on the first date. I can’t even count how many of them just use her for sex and never called her again.  She never learns.

sex

This week, she has been “fucking”(she calls it dating) this guy. She doesn’t even find him attractive, but she fell in love with his personality. The fact is, that people can be anything they want on the Internet and tell you anything they want you to hear. At the end of the day, a person’s online personality can’t be a good judge of character.

This man my friend has been hanging around with does not own a cell phone. This was the first red flag; everyone and their grandparents own a cell phone. I mentioned to her that this seemed a bit off and she told me that he was “old fashioned.” My mother is old fashioned too, but she still owns a cell phone and she is way older than “Mr. I don’t own a cell phone.”

So the only way my dear friend could communicate with this man was through email or on the dating website. Anyone can have an “extra” email account in order to keep people at arm’s length. And the fact that he still wants to communicate with her through the dating profile is just downright suspicious to me.

Furthermore, this man has never taken her out in public. He has never brought her a meal or introduced her to anyone in his life. I never liked what I did know about this man. Maybe it has been my experience with my cheating ex and his lies but I no longer take at face value what people say. People’s actions mean more than their words.

But for some reason she fell in love. He was the man for her and she began to plan their lives together. I wanted to yell out that he is not your man, but some guy your giving the sweet treats to when he hasn’t even proven that he deserves it. But I stayed silent, quietly challenging her perception of the relationship.

I encouraged her to ask him what he wanted because I suspected that the few times he slept with her was what he wanted. When someone asks you “what are you doing tonight?” and your response is “You, I hope.” Why are you then surprised that your entire relationship is based on sex? I think I would have responded to the question, with something that would tell this man, that I wanted something a little more that sex.

So, she had the “talk” with him. This man turned around and deleted his dating profile. She never heard from him again. He didn’t even respond to her desperate email about what happened? She wanted to know if he was mad at her and she wanted him to call her. I was embarrassed for her.

The day after she had the “talk” with this man, she found another man to replace him and went on a date. She told me that this man was gross, he looked worn out and he smelled like an ashtray. She went on to tell me that kissing him was gross. I asked her why did she kiss him and she told me that she wanted to see “if I could like him.”

I don’t understand why people force themselves to like other people. If I don’t like you, I have no reason to pretend. I just don’t hang around or do anything with you. I didn’t get it and I didn’t understand how you kiss someone you don’t’ wan to kiss. I also, don’t understand how you agree to meet someone after talking to him or her less than 24 hours.

I finally told her that she should probably take herself off the dating market and focus on herself and she should stop giving these men her vagina in order for them to fall in love with her. I also told her to stop sending pictures of herself in lingerie and to stop having sexually explicit conversations with strangers online. It’s pretty dangerous and irresponsible.

She hasn’t talked to me since, but I don’t care. I would rather that she is mad at me for the truth than in a coffin because I lied.

 

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