Kicking Beauty

Today I woke up and I make a decision.  It will probably be the hardest thing I will have to tell you.  But I have to tell you because I need to get it off my chest.  We both need to be honest with each other. I just can’t do this anymore.

I hardly slept last night.  I was tossing and turning. It was probably the worst night of my life.  Sometime in the middle of the night,  I woke up to find myself on the edge of the bed.  I think I was awoken to the fact, that I was falling.

So, I spent most of the night battling thoughts in my head on how I was going to break the news to you.  How could I gracefully tell you how I felt, without it sounding like I don’t love you anymore.  I played different scenario’s in my head.

Maybe I will wait till you’re in a great mood and we are having a wonderful day.  I just could not figure out the best way to tell you, what it is that I need to tell you.  I imagined the words slipping out of my mouth and the reaction on your face.  I am hoping you will understand how I feel, that I can’t do this anymore.

It’s been six years now, since you and I have met.  They have been the best years of my life.  I was fine with what you wanted, every night, I let you have your way.  But now, it has to end.  I just can’t do it anymore.

I can’t have you sleep in my bed anymore. You have a room of your own and a beautiful bed that I bought you.  When I was little, I wanted a bed just like the one you have.  I wanted a room just like the one you have.  My daughter, my girl, my sunshine you can’t sleep with your mommy anymore.  It literally drives me up the wall.  I spend all night, fighting off your kicking feet in my back, in my stomach and sometimes in my head.  I cannot sleep well, you hog the bed and you push me to the edge.

Tonight, we start something new.  You MUST sleep in your own bed from now on.  I am sorry, that this must end, but last night was the worse of it yet.

Love your tired mommy

Photo Credit

co-sleeping

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12 thoughts on “Kicking Beauty”

  1. Love, love, LOVE this post! This sign is something my two year old had to have created somehow. I love him, but his little feet go everywhere. Not to mention those arms and hands. You would swear he was huge and need so much space. I don’t know why these kids sleep all over the place like that.

    Well, good luck! Hopefully you find the right words, and an agreement can be worked out. She may give in and accept what’s going to happen, or have a fit. If she has a fit, you have to ignore it and stick to your guns. Don’t give in, and don’t acknowledge any tantrums. Talk to her in the morning and see how sleeping in her bed made her feel.

    Maybe sitting with her for 5 minutes and let her read a little to you before bed might help a little. I had to let my 9 year old son start sleeping in his own room at 3. He was scared more than anything. I got him lights, and kept his closet doors closed, and my room and his room’s doors open. He adjusted better when I read to him 5 minutes before him bed time.

    It’ll work out, just stick to your plan, and develop a routine that works for you too.

    Keep us posted!

  2. I say enjoy it while you can. She won’t always want to be near you (hello, teenager!). These are precious bonding moments that you never get back. She will move to her big girl bed when she feels confident and strong. Right now, she needs to feel close to you to feel safe. I hope she doesn’t feel abandoned. She is young and may not understand. Wishing you strength. xo

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