THE DATING APPEAL

I have had a few people message me and I have had some decent conversations over the last few days.  I have blocked a few and told a few where to go and kept a few conversations going.  I don’t know if this thing sort of dating is for me.  I am literally thinking of putting my Facebook status as “I am single, hook me up, please make sure he is not an idiot, he has no issues, and he won’t send me messages about oral sex after never meeting me….”  I can’t do that, I have my fifteen year old son who is on my friend list but there has to be a better way to meet good men, than this process.

So, as I said I have spoken to a few men, so I want to share my experience with the world.  I need your advice, why am I attracting men who are a bit on the different side, instead of a hunk, with a nice bank account, a house I can decorate, no ex wife hanging around and the staying power to hold a conversation.  This has been my prospects as of late:

Guy #1, his first message entailed asking me if I was a hot thin woman.  I asked him if he was hot, then he told me he was hot, built and had blue eyes(sure you are, with no picture on your profile).  I told him what he was saying didn’t tell me much about who he was, so he asked me to tell him something hot about myself.  At this point, I rolled my brown eyes, with my thin body and told him that he was boring me.  Hence, end of conversation.

Guy #2, sent me a message about wanting me to show him to ride my broom(my profile mentioned I had super powers and I oversee the city on a broom) and going to a U2 concert.  I responded telling him that U2 was centuries ago when music was tasteful.  I never heard from him again.  Maybe he thought I was calling him old…I was calling us both old…oh well.

Guy #3, said he liked my profile and if I was interested we could get together.  He went on to say something about us deciding together…deciding what? I never responded

Guy #4, was 25(I am 41) sent me a message LOL.  Why he was yelling at me, I still haven’t figured out.  All I know is I will not be anyone’s notch in their belt.  I never responded

Guy #5, said he was writing jokes for our date…I never realized my profile said anyone who responded to me, would get a date.  I asked him to tell me a joke. He told me that I screwed him up and that was the only joke he wrote to get my attention.  I didn’t laugh, its lame.  Conversation died out.

Guy #6, said hey.  I was bored so I said hey back. He then asked if I had a picture.  I told him I had many.  Then he wanted me to send him a few.  I responded “And why would I assume you are entitled to my picture because you said hey what’s up.  I choose to not upload a pic for my own safety.  You should message others whose pics are already visible.  Yeah, never heard from him again.

Guy #7 sent me a long winded message about how funny, adventurous, loving, caring and affectionate he was.  He then went on to say he was over his ex(he is probably lying) and that he wasn’t looking for a fling(he probable is).  I responded asking him how he was. He immediately asked for a picture, I said not at this time.  Conversation ended

Guy #8, was 25, said he lied about being 44 so he could meet older women because he was some stud or something like that.  I wished him fun on his search and I was not interested in games

Guy #9, we have been chatting on and off.  He asked for a picture, I was busy, he got upset, I put him in his place, he kept chatting to me.  Sounds like love.

Guy #10, sent me a message about me saving him, and then so many spelling errors I was repulsed

Guy #11 was not pleasing to the eyes

Guy #12 and I have been talking, switched numbers and have been texting.  He seems decent enough

Guy #13 and I had a great conversation, he made me laugh, he seemed like a really nice guy.  He had no picture either and I thought, this is perfect we could get to know each other without the pretension of looks.  We could build the most fabulous relationship, we could tell our friends and children how we met, online with no picture.  Then we switched pictures yesterday.  I just can’t date a man, I have no attraction to, no matter how intellectual our conversations are.  And damn! He knew how to spell and use grammar too!

Guy #14 can not spell for the life of him.  Huge turn off!

Guy #15 Asked me if I liked bad boys, I said some women do.  He then asked what I was looking for, I told him I had a long list of qualities.  When you want to get rid of a man, tell him you have standards and you have a list of qualities you want.  This guy ran for the hills.

Guy #16 is known to me.  I am entertaining myself talking to him.

Guy #17 Is a massage therapist, and for some reason I guess talking about massages and oral sex impresses women.  I told him, it doesn’t impress me at all. I am not sure if he will message me again.

Guy #18 is very special to my heart.  Started off nice enough, conversation was flowing, he had a hot tub and a motorcycle.  I was like where have you been most of my life. Then he did the unthinkable.  He felt comfortable enough to send me a message of what kind of oral sex he was going to give me, and then something about how he learned a lot over the year and wanted to teach these new things to me.  It took me a few hours to respond to him, but I kindly told him I did not appreciate messages of this detail and that he may use this kind of pick up line with other ladies, but not this one.  Blocked this one!

This has been less than a week of online dating, or online world of crazy men, who are looking for God knows what.  I don’t know about you, but I am very scared I have to go get some cats to keep me company.

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Image appreciation to Randy Glasbergen’s awesome website

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